


Entertainingly Wrong

by Spammy_Wits



Series: Wrong Genre Savvy [3]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Comedy, I know you know I know gone wrong, Misunderstandings, Platonic Relationships, face palm, fluffy at some point in the future, terrible detective skills
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-22
Updated: 2017-11-30
Packaged: 2018-09-19 06:29:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9422486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spammy_Wits/pseuds/Spammy_Wits
Summary: She's a teenage superhero but she's also a girl with stalkerish tendencies, you can't blame him for arriving to the wrong conclusion. */“Let me see; She follows you around, she hides when you notice, she makes real bad excuses for disappearing, she often talks to herself… Is this about your girlfriend?” The sound of the pen against paper suddenly stops as green meets green in a battle of stubbornness. With a sigh, the silence is broken.





	1. Chapter 1

_After a long and careful investigation I have stumbled upon an answer to my question: What’s going on with Marinette?_

 

_It was a slow process, of course. Specially since she seems to flee whenever I so much as look at her, but by being exceedingly careful (and using my alter ego to follow her around), I managed to set up a list of odd behaviors, as follows:_

 

***

 

It was a sunny day in Paris, not the kind of sunny days where everything is right with the world, but one of those where your sweat is sweating, everything sticks to your skin and there seems to be a humid invisible force of evil following you as to punish your lungs whenever you try to get some air in.

 

Clever people would not dare to go out in a day like this under threats of spontaneous combustion, birds and dogs nowhere to be seen while the stench of stale dairy clung to one golden haired teen who wished desperately to be done with his infernal job of a modeling career. His make-up was itching since dawn and, by a quick look at the sky, the sun was almost at its zenith imposing its wrath upon those who were foolish enough to defy it.

 

Out of the corner of his eye he spotted her and, with the little presence of mind he still had, he wondered about her common sense.

 

A few more pictures were taken and he was promptly sent on his way, his photographer seemingly as hasty as he was to find cover, though the subway might not be the best option right now…

 

He was about to get in the car when he heard it, an explosion coming from the café where he’d seen his classmate just minutes ago, and where he was seeing her now... Scurrying away?... Instead of running?... Wait, where was she going? She entered a bathroom on the side of the building and looked around before closing the door just as an akuma with an ice cream cone hat caught his attention, he’d think about it later…

 

Later came and went and he still had no feasible reason for what he had seen. While he browsed the ladyblog he couldn’t help but ruminate on what happened. He knew Marinette was somewhat an eccentric; most of the geniuses he knew about were the same so he always tried to be understanding with her, but if she was doing something related to akumas he’d have to get involved, no one should be reckless with dangerous situations.

 

Come to think of it… She was usually right there before anyone got possessed, more than that… She sometimes made a beeline for the next victim (with an astounding accuracy) to try to calm them down. That must mean she is on his side at least… Wait, this looks a little more complicated than previously expected.

 

He slid his chair across the room until he got to his bag to grab a pen, disturbing Plagg in the process.

 

“What’s it this time, kid! Can’t you let me relax for once? I’m too tired for your shenanigans…”

 

“Don’t start Plagg, I just needed a pen, go back to sleep.”

 

“No can do. You wake me, you feed me. I’m waiting!”

 

“Fine…”

 

The kwami enjoyed his treat sitting over the keyboard while Adrien kept writing down his thoughts. After a few minutes of the same he got curious and floated closer.

 

“Let me see; She follows you around, she hides when you notice, she makes real bad excuses for disappearing, she often talks to herself… Is this about your girlfriend?” The sound of the pen against paper suddenly stops as green meets green in a battle of stubbornness. With a sigh, the silence is broken.

 

“Again, not my girlfriend. Don’t you think this is odd?” The black cat hovers around his, legs crossed, apparently in orbit.

 

“Not at all, I’ve seen quite a lot of people like that…What were they called? Oh yeah, mercenaries, ninjas, whatsoever.” He halted his motion to give the teen an amused look. ”Wouldn’t it be funny if she was hired for some dirty job?”

 

“Don’t be silly, Marinette wouldn’t be able to hide something like that… Alya would notice for sure.” The tip of the pen pressed against his cheek as he mentally confirmed his theory, finding that it was a bit lacking.

 

“But then again, she doesn’t know where she is half of the time…” The kwami mumbled, the conversation starting to weight on them.

 

“What we need is an observable phenomenon, something that’s sure to happen, then we can make some hypothesis about it and find a way to disprove it.” He scribbled down a diagram while his companion stretched its back.

 

“Phenomenon? As in something unbelievable? Well, I’ve seen her stumble around one moment and the next pull a perfect backflip.”

 

“No, that’s phenomenal… But I didn’t know that. Have you noticed anything else?”

 

“What else… She talks to her purse, stole your cellphone, runs to hide something in her room whenever you drop by…”

 

“My cellphone?! Did she see you?”

 

“Well… I don’t know. I was drowsy after eating so much.”

 

“How can you just tell me this now? When did it happen?!” He seemed to be yelling but his voice was but a whisper.

 

“Calm down! If she knows she didn’t tell, if she doesn’t then there’s no problem!” His tiny paws moved aimlessly trying to soothe the aggravation away.

 

“I have to find her!” He jumped off his chair and made his way towards the window, not bothering to turn off the computer. “I thought it was just a hunch but there is something weird going on and I need to find out what it is! Plagg, claws out!”

 

***

 

Chat Noir was not the kind of guy who’d think things through before jumping, that was one of the allures of the character, but Chat Noir wasn’t in the driver seat at the moment, please and thank you.

 

Once he arrived at the rooftop of the greatest bakery in all of Paris he had already formulated a plan, so he carefully slid open the hatch door, carefully memorized the placement of everything and closed it again, carefully slamming his finger with it to carefully cringe. Then he slid down halfway around the window staring at his classmate while he pressed the button in his baton. Two rings and a squeak was all it took.

 

“Hello Marinette. It’s me, Adrien. I’ll be at your place in about 3 minutes, I need to ask you a favor.” Like magic, the blue eyed girl stood up and began hiding things, first she put a journal inside a box, then she closed a desk drawer, next she looked at her wall and tried to stack a bunch of photos and posters, all the while trying to get a coherent sentence out. “A...Adright I eh-hum Adrien, a-all right, I’ll meet you outdoor I mean the door I mean outside!... I’ll... Just… go.” The call had ended and Adrien just watched as she tossed the string from a pull down chart up where no one would see it…She retired from the room leaving behind the echo of “Mamaaan!” to get lost in the empty room. Well that was an impressive speed.

 

Not to be overshadowed, the black cat wasted no time in leaping inside the bedroom, his attention was immediately directed at the box, with the intention of retrieving its content, his hand stopped at the last moment when a metallic blink warned him against a trap mechanism... He'd have to make do without the diary. He quickly scanned the photograph dully noting that they were mostly of him.

 

Then he tried to open the drawer... It was stuck... No keyhole... No mechanism... _It won’t budge_.

 

That wasn't working but he'd seen it open and he'd see it open again if it... Oh! The one above was working...

 

He let it slide all the way out and found... Nothing... Just sewing tools and a lot of pens... A whole rainbow of pens... What’s with this gamut? Oh, the hue manatee… Back on track he noticed the wood under it was not attached

 

Chat Noir was not one to pass down an opportunity so he just slid his hand around inside of the drawer until he found something to grab from it, surprise, moving the board automatically opened the drawer under it. Gloved hands reached out to pull it all the way and he noticed, astonished that there were folders… About past akuma… The format was simple: Name, origin, power, possessed object, way of defeating it, threat level… What? Why? His confusion was evident, kneeling in front of a secret stack of papers, inside of a room where he was not invited, invading his friend’s privacy… Oh, a map! He unfolded it just to find every pinpoint location of attacks… They were all close to their school, a small sticky note asked him “There’s a pattern, why here?” This could be useful in triangulating if he could just measure the speed and direction of the butterflies…The problem would be to get Marinette to lend it to him and footage of one of those butterflies. Why did he have to be so awkward? Suddenly a noise coming from downstairs got him back to reality, he’d have to return some other time”. He managed to get out without being seen barely by a tail.

 

There was no time to think about what he’d seen yet, he had to invent a reason for dropping by.

 

Not even two minutes later, he was back in as his civilian self, asking about homework he didn’t know the instructions of since he was at a shoot during class, Nino had been no help at all, failing to explain the details of the assignment. Not a lie, but not completely true either.

 

He was suspicious enough of the girl to have to cut short their meeting so he could discuss his findings with Plagg.

 

His room was almost dark when he got back, the soft hues of the sunset playing with the humidity to make it look like a western jail of sorts, he landed in a crouch near his bed and wasted no time in turning back.

 

As soon as his companion popped out of the ring he began to flail his arms tiredly while walking in circles. “She has a bunch of folders! Folders, Plagg! And a map! It looks like something out of a spy movie! What if she knows who I am?! Would that be good or bad? Why is this so confusing?!” The tiny cat just dove straight for a pillow barely listening. “So what? She’s not likely to be akumatized, she’s kind enough to keep it a secret, what’s your damage? Give me cheese?”

 

“You just don’t get it! This will make it ten times more awkward than it already was, she’ll notice immediately that I know something… I don’t want to lose a friend… Was she ever my friend in the first place?” Cue the dramatic wall slide. While the mini god reached into a pillow on the bed to retrieve a piece of Camembert.

 

“Ha! Add some mystery and you humans start to question everything, if you’re so worried talk with her or suck it up, but don’t go brooding on my food.”

 

“You’re right, I still don’t know for certain if she’s aware of my identity, I need to talk to her for real this time.”

 

Among the variety of reactions he expected from the dark haired girl at his visit, paralyzing terror was not one of them. She looked uncertain, worried, guilty, suspicious, and frozen in place, all at the same time. He needed to break the ice. “Is this a good time for a knock knock joke?” Lame… But it worked, the line kicked her into motion, opening the window and moving aside to let him enter.

 

Her focused frown vanished as soon as he was safely standing in front of her. “Chat Noir? What a surprise! I haven’t seen you in ages”. Now that he was looking for it, he recognized the lie as soon as it left her mouth. “Do you need something? Can I offer you a croissant, I saw the fight in the ladyblog and you were spotted all day after that, you must be starving.” Again, she was terrible at it, how did he never notice?

 

“Look, princess. I like being pampered as much as the next guy but you don’t need to fake on my account, I can tell I’m not welcome so I’ll just make this quick...” Suddenly his nerves gave out leaving just the draining feeling of the day to surge upon him.

 

“What? Not welcome? What are you on about? It’s true I didn’t expect you here today, you surprised me, that’s all. But I do want to help, I know you and Ladybug don’t get enough gratitude for all you do for Paris… Do you want to lie down for a moment? You don’t look that fresh”. Ok, that was so honest and so considerate it made him smile instantly.

 

“Trust me. I’m fresh as the morning breeze… Before we had this awful weather… I think… I’ll take you up on that offer… And I’d like that croissant too, if… It’s not too la-tte? Oh! I lost track of time, I should have waited until tomorrow to visit.”

 

“You’re already here, though, a friend of mine always says one should make the best out of the chances we get… Or something like that. You can take the chaise, I’ll be right back”

 

He was left alone once again to ponder how to breach the subject, if she talked with someone using her purse maybe the room was wired… It had no cameras though, unless they were in the plushies, would he risk it? Right then his main concern was their friendship, maybe he should start with that. Luckily enough, a few of the pictures were back on the wall. He had a great idea.

 

“I didn’t know what you’d like so I brought three kinds of croissants and a mug of… Everything…” At his concerned stare she seemed to realize that the tower of food was not that smart of a move. “Did I go overboard? Ah!” She tripped on the last step but managed to hook her feet to the stairs railing just in time to save face… Then, the dishes paid their respect to Newton’s laws. Chat Noir’s reflexes only managed to save the baked goods before letting them down and rushing to put his friend back on her feet.

 

“Well, princess. You could say you’re literally falling for me. That’d be a first…" Once she was safe, he directed his gaze towards the other side of the room. Seeing a good chance to get his point across, he continued. "I’m still pretty hungry, though. Those looks good, can I eat now? I meant! I’ll help you clean up? By the way, nice decor. Is that Adrien Agreste on your wall?”


	2. Chapter 2

Tea was scattered every which way along with cocoa and coffee, so it seemed just logical to start with the groundwork as soon as possible. So while he waited for his stunned classmate to return to her senses, regretting very much his sudden question, he kneeled silently and started to gather the nein-fussed mess with his hands.

 

It didn’t take long for conversation to start flowing again as she shrugged of whatever shocked her so much and handed him a broom, keeping the duster to help him out. Luckily enough the only damage was done to a naked mannequin and the rest of the furniture was out of the way of the disaster zone. He kept at it absentmindedly until he heard a faint sound.

 

“Come again?”

 

“A friend, Adrien is a friend of mine.” She straightened up from her position giving her declaration the emphasis needed.

 

“Is that why he’s hanging around on your wall?”

 

“Yes! No! I mean…”

 

“Because I’ve never seen you actually spending time with him, so I’m rather surprised. Maybe you’re online buddies? Pen pals?  Facebook friends?”

 

It wasn’t a fair accusation, especially since he and his alter ego would never be in the same place at the same time unless here was a cloning akuma on the loose. Despite this he always wondered why she was never the first one to strike conversation and refused to stay with him unless Alya was involved. Her face crunched up more every second until…

 

“That’s not it and I don’t like your tone! It’s not your business anyway!”

 

At her outburst he couldn’t help but stare, ears dropping, maybe he’d gone too far in his search for validation. With a sigh, she turned around leaving the duster behind.

 

“I’m sorry… It's just... Ugh! It’s complicated… Maybe I should show you?” There was something dull about her demeanor from her hands slowly rubbing together to her heavy steps or her downcast eyes. “I’ve always been a nervous person, you know?  It takes ages for me to make a decision; I just freak out over the most far-fetched possibilities.” He briefly wondered if he should be hearing this after all but it was too late to retreat now. He let go of the broom, closing the distance in a sign of good will. “I used to be bullied; I cowered before school because of Chloe… Used to hide in bed until my parents decided to drag me downstairs.

“But I started fighting back, all because of Alya.” She fiddled with the string of the pull-down chart, balancing her weight on one foot and then the other. “I only worry about things that haven’t happened yet, though. I can own up to what’s already done pretty fast. But with Adrien… There are so many things that could go wrong. So many that I just freeze! Or blurt out something dumb and embarrassing or I just run away! “…I’m getting better… I’m not there just yet, but I really, _really_ try. But he _is_ my friend. Just look!”

 

With renewed vigor, she unraveled the chart to reveal…

 

“A schedule?!” He was clearly missing an important bit of information because the heartfelt confession just now didn’t fit at all with what he was seeing. What was it that could go so wrong in their friendship?

 

“Not only a schedule. It’s our schedule, a combination of his and mine.”

 

“You volunteered to a kitten shelter? I’m flattered.”

 

“I should have known that it would be the one thing to jump at you.”

 

“I’d rather be jumped at by other things, but that’s not why we’re gathered here today. You do realize cats are pretty self-centered, don’t you, princess? He moved around to support his chin on her shoulder but she flipped away with a scoff.

 

“They also get easily distracted. Now, I don’t have trouble meeting Alya outside of school, she can make time whenever I’m free… But with Adrien… How many empty slots do you see?” She quirked an eyebrow at him while extending her hand towards the schedule.

 

“Two, without considering weekends.”

 

“And one of them has no activities after it, which means he’ll be stuck at home! We only have one matching free slot this week; I got Alya to ask them if they want to go on a picnic that day.”

 

“Wow, that is really thoughtful… How did you get his schedule again?” She blushed at his question and seemed to hesitate before answering.

 

“It used to only have his school extracurriculars so it was a monthly schedule… But I had o steal his phone to delete an embarrassing voice mail some time ago. He hasn’t changed his lock pattern so I just check it again every week.”

 

So that’s what Plagg was talking about before, it was a pretty good reason but he got the feeling that she wasn’t telling the whole story.

 

“Should I keep an eye on your rising criminal career? We can’t have such a sweet princess getting a dirty record.”

“Uhm… No thanks, I don’t make an habit out of it…A-and I always give back the stuff I take!”

 

“Stuff? Wasn’t it just a measly phone? I suppose I can look the other way and take your word for it. I wouldn’t mind a cat burglar for my very own rogue gallery, though.” With a wink he went back to cleaning and dumped the dusters content in the trashcan by the desk. Then he heard a huff behind him.

 

“I won’t give you the satisfaction of a visual pun, kitty cat. That kind of exposition would be bad for business.” She proceeded to grab a croissant, splitting it in half and handing him the biggest piece. “I don’t know if you like truffle, is it okay?” She didn’t even finish her sentence when he was already gulping down the treat.

 

“I think that answers your question. What other delights do we have here?”

 

She pointed at her chaise, making both of them sit down to eat and put the food between them.

 

“That one has cheese, there’s one with jam, and one filled with confiture de lait, I wanted to bring the classics but we’re out of stock… I’m sorry I can’t offer you anything but water, I’m too clumsy to have stairs.” Her consideration was met with happy moans as he stuffed his face with pastries.

 

“That I find hilarious, since I know from a very good source that you can do a perfect backflip.”

 

Instantly, the girl freezed up, recovering quickly to flail her arms at random.

 

“That’s! I used to do ballet-no! Gymnastics? Yeah! I used to participate in competitions uh, I was… Uh… Very good?”

 

He felt his nose wrinkling at that… Did she expect him to believe such a half-assed lie?

 

“Maybe you can show me some tricks later… Now I'm thinking this banquet requires some entertainment... Say, have you seen sharknado?”

 

“Just to the second movie, I heard they’re making a fifth one! I always found their popularity a bit too fishy.”

 

“They just want you to be their chum… Do you want to look for memes?”

 

Both teenagers quickly settled in an easy camaraderie but Adrien couldn’t help but notice how much she was holding back. Every now and then she’d have to restrain herself; just halfway to giving him a pat on his back, or cutting off mid sentence from something she decided was better off left alone.

 

When Marinette’s parents called  her to go down for dinner he realized he had outstayed his welcome.

 

While he was saying his goodbyes she stared warily at in his direction and the nauseous feeling came back. Did she know who he was? Most importantly; Did she know he suspected her of knowing? There was no way to know, especially with her closed off behavior. Just as he was halfway outside through the window he turned to her once more.

 

“I had fun today, princess. I hope I didn’t get in your way for too long.”

 

“Kitty, thanks for your help-Wait! That’s not it! Chat Noir, the citizen are grateful for your service… Hum no, not that… Okay let’s forget I said any of that. Let me start over.” She took a moment to breath in deeply, spitting quickly what’s she said next. “I don’t know if I’ll have the chance to say this ever again so… Thank you; for protecting the city I love so much. If you ever need anything, you know where to find me!” He stood still for a second, before she turned the lights off and left him alone in the darkness. Realization hit him hard right then.

 

_Aw shucks… Marinette is an undercover agent…_


	3. Shenanigans Intensify

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one has been nagging me for almost three months, unfinished and lonely... The good news is that I'll be free from next week onwards to keep at it!

  
Suffice to say she remained wide awake all night after her partner's visit. Thoughts of horribl,e horrible future haunting her mind along with all the possible outcomes and reasons for his suspicious behavior. Did he know her identity? Maybe he got wind of all her disappearances and assumed she was about to become a juvenile delinquent. Worse yet, maybe he thought she was working with Papillon considering her lame excuses an absence during emergencies.

 

Worst case scenario, maybe he was having trouble at home and would spend the night out there in the cold, all because she didn't let him stay as long as he wanted. No, that couldn't be it... She didn't kick him out, he ran away as if he had realized something, oh no, maybe he saw Tikki... If so she was so screwed. She couldn't ask her kwami at risk of being scolded into oblivion both for failing to keep her identity a secret and for waking her up at an ungodly hour. She didn't even notice when the sun began to rise and her clock began to weep with the most annoying sound she could ever find online, one of her many attempts to stop having to rush to class.

 

It was her mother's call downstairs that took her out from her trance. Shaking her head, she jumped out of bed committing herself to not think about it anymore but keep her eyes open in case anything was out of place after last day's events.

 

That's how she spent the next few hours as alert as an owl. Nothing escaped her attention, her gaze sharp and intimidating, forcing people to ask her questions which in turn made her even more suspicious of her environment. By the end of school she had scared most of the student body which probably thought she was about to attack them by the way she was looking at everybody with a manic grin that could in no way be called subtle. Anyways, she walked a few rounds around her neighborhood at least until some shop owners started asking her if she had lost something.

 

With nothing else to do and barely hungry because of her anxiety she found herself sighing while looking at her reflection in the river. She hadn't realized how much talking to her little companion put her at ease when she was being unreasonable, but that was a no go if she wanted to keep her suspicions a secret. She made up her mind to at least try to take a nap at home and was about to turn around when she heard a familiar voice.

 

"Tell me again why we're doing this?--- Yes, I know it's cheaper in the long run but--- No, what?--- That's not what I said!--- well that's--- yeah but it's a truck! I can't even!--- I know, fine... A deal is a deal. --- Don't you dare put me in trouble again.--- you can come get it yourself you know how to get in"

 

Risking one look behind her, she could see her long-time crush unloading a lot of cylinders covered in white paper with the help of a delivery man in what seemed like a hidden warehouse. She promptly ducked behind a garbage can to observe without being detected.

 

"You know, you look a little bit too young to be receiving this much stuff.”

"Oh, oh yeah, I know. It's not for me... Believe me, I really hate cheese. It's for my mentor, he's crazy about that stuff but has no patience to deal with people.” She couldn’t hear the man’s response as he closed loudly the back of the truck and got ready to drive away. “Thanks for your help anyways, here's a tip. Have a great day, mister."

 

There was something about the situation that she found unsettling. First of all what was he doing there? Not even half an hour ago he had been picked up to eat lunch at home. Which means he wasn't supposed to be there, which means no one knew he was there. Also that conversation from before seemed barely threatening she could only assume that the cargo was for that person he was speaking with but he called him a mentor, something she hasn't heard him say about any of his tutors, coaches or teachers... Ever. Any of that was already worrisome, especially if you considered the enormous quantity of cheese that was in the truck... If it even was cheese.

 

Her beloved Adrien always had a faint smell of Camembert, maybe this was not the first time that he was asked to do something like this... But what type of trouble had he been threatened with...?

 

Sooner rather than later, lunch break was over. Her overwhelmed brain made zig-zags between crime-fighting and her crush's shady deals, the idle chattering in the classroom and the prompt arrival of miss Mendeleiev failing to compute. Fortunately, for luck always seemed to lend her a hand when she needed it, a quick sweep at the news in her tablet and one of the top results showed her a Brazilian truck being detained for smuggling drugs across its borders using nothing more and nothing less than cheese as a cover, the article claimed that this was the first of a long branch of international organized crime.

 

"It can't be!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I threw up this chapter on my busy schedule, be a pal and help point out any glaring gramatical errors you find...
> 
> Enjoy yourselves


End file.
